Staring, peering and peeking

If you go outside as a bald woman, one thing is for sure: people will stare, peer and peek at you. This is my top 7:

A bald woman is not something you see very often. Makes sense, then, that people notice you if you walk on the street without hair. In the past three years, I’ve had so many different looks and reactions that I’d like to share some with you. If you think there’s one missing from my list, message me! That gives us baldies something to chatter about.

1. Oh no: cancer

Number one: the absolute classic, also known as the cancer stare. You’re bald, so you’re ill, so you’re dying - all of that packed into one sad look: ‘Aw darling, sweetie, how unfortunate you have to go through this at such a young age’. You might think I’m being too harsh - after all these people are trying to sympathise. Absolutely, but I’m not interested in pitiful looks.

I’d like to say this to these people: stop jumping in to conclusions and don’t worry about me! As far as I know, I’m going to be around for a while. Everything will be fine, honey! 🙂


2. Completely in shock

It happens quite often that people are shocked when they see my bald head, but I can’t deny that I play a role in that sometimes. Whenever I’m sitting outside a café and I’m sweating or my wig isn’t sitting nicely, I’m not ashamed at all and I just take it off. Especially people-watchers, who are just enjoying the view, don’t know where to look when that happens. That’s not really what they were expecting! Their shocked reaction almost makes me piss myself laughing. 

There’s one thing I’d like to tell these people: sorry it shocked you, but I’m never going to change. I am bald and it’s so much fun to freak people out every once in a while.


3. Trying-not-to-but-looking-anyway

There are a lot of people who don’t want to stare because they think it’s rude or shitty, but they still can’t help themselves. They don’t want to make you feel bad, but their curiosity is just too much to handle. I get it, sometimes it happens to me too! 

But I’d like to say something to these well-meaning people: I appreciate the effort, but I’d rather you had a good look at me once than sneakily look at me six times and each time for a bit too long. If you want to know how to do that, read number 7.


4. Completely shameless

Looking at you, looking away and then turning around to check if they got it right or to point at me to their friend. Out of all the types of staring and glaring, this is the one I understand the least. I honestly wonder how people can be so shameless without feeling uncomfortable. Can you imagine how it makes the other person feel? I find it so incredibly rude.

This is what I’d like to say to these people: I get that you want to look at me, but don’t do it more than once. Yes, you got it right: I’m bald. So look ahead and watch out: as far as I know, health insurance only covers 7 physiotherapy treatments.


5. The large-scale study

Closely related to the shameless we just learned about are the people who look at me from head to toe to figure out what exactly is wrong with me. Is it a fashion statement, is it an illness, is there something else that’s wrong other than the spotted bald head? To me it feels as if I were wearing their clothes or their shoes - incredibly uncomfortable.

To these people I say: as far as I know, there’s not much wrong with me (on the outside) other than my special, spotted head. The way you stare isn’t discreet at all, so maybe you should take a lesson in discreet staring. Or wear glasses so you can see everything a little bit better.


6. Kids: AWESOME!!

I find it adorable when little ones ask their parents why I’m bald. I love that they’re so open, honest and curious - they don’t care about sensationalism, opinions or shame.

That’s why I want to say this to every parent: encourage your child to be curious, it makes them so cute! 


7. Genuine interest

There are also people who openly look at me and won’t stop making eye contact. These, as well as kids, are actually the ones who bother me the least. They’re upfront about the fact that they look at me. They don’t think of me as an oddity or a topic of conversation, just a person who happens to stand out.

To these people, all I can say is this: I respect your honesty - a lot of people could learn from it. I’d also like to say this, though: try to take others into account a bit more, because not everyone cares for your genuine interest.